Jack & Jill Politics

So, who knew that Hosni Mubarak, Egyptian strongman, was such a huge fan of Jennifer Hudson. His performance today in front of like, billions of people around the world, was highly evocative of Hudson’s now classic star turn as a delusional, strung out woman on the edge of losing everything.

And I am telling you
I’m not going
Even though the rough times are showing
There’s just no way, there’s no way
We’re part of the same place
We’re part of the same time
We both share the same blood
We both have the same mind

And time and time, we’ve had so much to see and
No, no, no, no, no, no way
I’m not waking up tomorrow morning and finding that there’s nobody there

Can’t you just see him pointing down from a tall balcony:

I’m staying

And you, and you

You’re gonna love me, oh ooh mm mm

You’re gonna love me

Which is about when everyone in Tahrir Square – men, women, children, rich, poor — all held up a shoe in protest and chanted “Leave!” In the rest of the world, particularly the White House, a thunderous and echoing “DOH! DOh! doh!” could be heard across the planet.

You know President Obama was all pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing with exasperation watching Mubarak while Hillary Clinton went to go find something to punch. Then they both told Biden to shut up.

“And I Am Telling You” wasn’t a good look for Effie White and it sure ain’t looking good on Hosni neither. That scene didn’t end well for Jennifer’s character and I’m guessing this strategy of giving Barack Obama, most world leaders and his own people the finger won’t go well for Mubarak either. I guess Mubarak wants to go out like he came into office — Scarface-style.

All messing around aside, today’s failure to step down was a big disappointment. Obama’s reaction was mostly “Oh…Hell to the Naw” and “Clearly, you didn’t hear me the first time so let a brother make it plain to ya”:

As we have said from the beginning of this unrest, the future of Egypt will be determined by the Egyptian people. But the United States has also been clear that we stand for a set of core principles. We believe that the universal rights of the Egyptian people must be respected, and their aspirations must be met. We believe that this transition must immediately demonstrate irreversible political change, and a negotiated path to democracy. To that end, we believe that the emergency law should be lifted. We believe that meaningful negotiations with the broad opposition and Egyptian civil society should address the key questions confronting Egypt’s future: protecting the fundamental rights of all citizens; revising the Constitution and other laws to demonstrate irreversible change; and jointly developing a clear roadmap to elections that are free and fair.

I hope this very clear and tough talk from the Administration continues. It’s the only way we can show the Egyptian people we are with them and ensure that we can have a positive relationship going forward. Because it’s obvious to everyone except Effie and Hosni that it’s time for a certain octogenarian to exit stage right. Or risk being dragged off. Friday is a day off for Egyptians and it’s an easy prediction that the people will be out in force. It’s not over yet but change gon’ come. Whether Mubarak likes it…or not cuz Dreamgirl, that diva dictator’s dream is coming to an end.