Why can’t we lock the world’s most powerful leaders from the world’s wealthiest countries in a room together and make them fix stuff like human rights, climate change and global poverty? And televise that? Let the hijinks ensue and the fur fly as these oversize personalities mix, mingle and clash! The stakes are high: FYI — Obama is the first black man to participate in a G8 Summit. Plus the world is overall sorta broke, beaten, dirty, gassy and hungry these days. Also let’s not forget that Berlusconi, who’s kind of a jackass, joked on Obama’s victory in the U.S. that he was “always tanned”, angering most of Italy and also Carla Bruni. Awkward!

Foreign Policy Magazine has a supa-hilarious take on what’s about to go down in L’Aquila Italy. It’s deep and shaping up to be the kind of hot mess that only Italy could deliver. More on that below. But first a quick update.

Um, btw: Over 100 Greenpeace activists from 15 countries have taken over 4 coal-fired power stations across Italy, demanding that the G8 Heads of State meeting in L’Aquila — well, actually do sumpin sumpin’ on climate change. Oh…Snap. You can keep tabs on how that’s going here at the live feed page. Now that’s entertainment.

Meanwhile, check out Oxfam’s goofy stunt poking fun at the G8. Basically, the idea was to convey the strong message that 3 million face death while Berlusconi and the G8 fiddle. The G8 really should keep their promises on aid, on Africa, on women and children, and on hunger. Yo. (Peep the video below) Also of interest is that the conservative Berlusconi is blocking internet access to certain problematic websites. Like hmmm, Oxfam!

When I tried to access the Oxfam Canada G8 blog I received a message saying “you have tried to access a web page which is a violation of your internet usage policy. Category: Advocacy organization.” When asked to explain why a journalist working in the G8 International Media Center should be denied access to the web site of a development agency pressing G8 leaders to live up to their commitments, I was first told by an embarrassed Summit staff that it was a technical problem. When I responded that it seemed instead to be a political problem, there was a flurry of activity and within a few minutes I was assured access would no longer be blocked.

Right… anyway, it’s clearly gonna be off the hook over the next couple of days. From Foreign Policy Magazine, I bring you excerpts from the zany & astonishing article “What If MTV Made a Reality Show Out of the G8“.

Just locking Silvio and his really (justifiably) angry, estranged wife Veronica Lario in a house for the enjoyment of tv audiences everywhere would be irresistible.But throw her in with a bunch of other world leaders? See what happens when Silvio shoots an ill-considered glance in the direction of Michelle Obama? Who’s wailing on him first? Veronica, Barack or Michelle? (My money is on Michelle.) Sadly, of course, Veronica is passing on the G8 Summit, forcing the Italians to turn the wife of their president to be the hostess for the affair.

We still have plenty of fun cast to choose from, however, given that the meetings in Italy will actually be attended by more than 25 countries, including all the G20. Just think of the potential gang we could feature in the house that meet the Real World formula for diversity and mayhem.

  • Of course, we start with the hard-partying Berlusconi. He may be 72 but he has the judgment and appetites of a 19-year-old frat boy and is certain to end up in the money shots that MTV needs. For example, see the recently released photos of him enjoying two women locked in a girl-on-girl kiss in front of him at a party at his estate in Sardinia.

  • Barack and Michelle Obama add the diversity element. In fact, this week they will actually break the color line at the G8 Summit, making it the first to actually feature a person of color sitting in one of the principal’s seats. But they are also fun-loving, party people. Barack danced on the Ellen show and in Dreams from My Father he admitted to the kind of recreational drug use that one has to believe is an off-camera Real World specialty. Michelle would, of course, be the serious one in the house, the good girl who MTV clings to as a sign of the redeeming social content of the series.
  • Carla Bruni knows how to party like a rock star from having partied with so many rock stars and because she is so telegenic she will be allowed to bring along her little guy, who will undoubtedly end up being the “Spencer” (to mix reality TV metaphors) of the show, mouthing off to everyone and likely getting into a fight with some of the bigger, more athletic members of Real World L’Aquila.
  • One of the more dangerous of “jock” contingent will be former member of the Japanese Olympic team, Taro Aso, who competed in the shooting competition. Perfect for TV, Aso is even more dangerous when shooting off his mouth than when using a weapon. For instance, there was the time that he said sketched out his vision for a better Japan, suggesting that he wanted to help make it a country in which “rich Jews” would like to live.
  • Another of the “jocks” with a professed love of weightlifting early in his life is Russian President Dmitry Medvedev. More appealing however to producers at MTV will be his tastes in music which include Black Sabbath and Deep Purple. So, two birds with one stone…he’s the muscle (he still swims a mile twice a day) and the requisite head-banger of the crowd. (Perhaps this will create fireworks others in the group who were firebrands in their youth, like former secretary for Agitprop of her chapter of the Free German Youth socialist youth group, Angela Merkel. Maybe after a few beers with vodka chasers they might break out in a Karaoke performance of “99 Luftballons” or, from the Deep Purple songbook, “Smoke on the Water.”)
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