Question: how much race-baiting, acid-tripping, premise unraveling pseudo insight can one fat, drug-addicted, sex buying leader of the Republican party fit into one hour of radio?

Answer: so very much.

Seriously, get drunk before reading this transcript, but do read it. I’ve clipped an excerpt, but the entire segment is a abstract masterpiece of crackheadian proportions.

via: Media Matters – The Limbaugh Wire for 04/14/2009.

Coming back from the break, Rush helpfully explained his comments from the top of the hour — if George W. Bush had ordered pirates shot, that evil mainstream media would have reported that Bush ordered the killing of three black teenagers on the high seas. That seems perfectly likely to us. Rush then suspected that pirates had already infiltrated the U.S., reading from a story about how two men died in a sword fight in Indiana. But it turned out that the sword used was from World War II-era Japan, so Rush’s theory went out the window.

Revisiting yet another story from yesterday, Rush noted that the woman who leapt into a polar bear enclosure at a Berlin Zoo will not face charges. As he did yesterday, Rush blamed the whole thing on global warming and Al Gore: “Why would somebody do this? Why would somebody jump into the polar bear encamp — this is — I don’t want to make a bigger deal out of this than it should be, but I think it’s — I think there’s an indication here about just how off-track everybody has become with all of this lying SOB sack-of-manure crap that is global warming.” Rush said the woman should sue Gore for the “fake” pictures of dying polar bears in An Inconvenient Truth.

Really though, stop working. Take a break from reality and delve into the collapsing abyss of nothingness that is the mind of the Leader Of The Republican Party. This is the dude the Republicans are afraid to criticize. I love you Right Wing America. I really do.

And yes, I’m a secret Muslim, black community organizer polar bear pirate… and I’m sharpening my sword right now to disrupt tomorrow’s teabagging teaparties. Because I hate freedom. And probably Jesus.

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