(Ever the kidder, Bush patronizes reporter Suzanne Malveaux on C-SPAN back in July for her pointed questioning on America’s North Korea policy and advancing nuclear threat. Still laughing, Dubya?)

I didn’t sleep so well Sun night and couldn’t figure out why until I heard the news that North Korea had tested a nuclear bomb underground overnight. Watching Bush’s brief remarks Mon am— his pinched, blank face and unfocused, rapidly blinking eyes, I could tell it was bad.

Meanwhile, Condi Rice is nowhere on the scene — oh wait, she’s all smiles and flak-jacketed in Baghdad! Of course, that’s where we should be spending all our diplomatic time. Never mind that crazy Kim Jong Il! Given that crazy seems contagious though, I figured it was time to get on the good foot and drop a line about this.

Kim, his rapper/pimp lifestyle notwithstanding, is a paranoid, meglomaniacal dictator. No one is talking about it, but I am willing to bet that some of this bad behavior has something to do with the fact that — what a coincidence! — Ban Ki-Moon, the foreign minister (equivalent to Condi here) of South Korea, is being elected to lead one of the chief world bodies of government (the United Nations) when Kofi Annan steps down at the end of the year.

Now if I’m a pimp/rapper/dictator, such a development would make me nervous. It might even piss me off. All that talk about Ban reforming the U.N.? Right now he’s holding his gun sideways and telling the world he’d like to pop a cap in our collective asses for dissing him. It’s like the Game coming in and taking over 50 Cent’s record label or something.

Sanctions are a good idea, though, the impact of yanking some Hennessey away from say, Snoop Dog would likely make him more belligerent, not less. I agree with Bill Richardson: the time for talking — six-way, one-way, menage-a-trois, whatever — has long since past. It’s not too late to start talking tough face-to-face though. Bush, once again, proves he’s asleep at the wheel when it comes to protecting our nation.

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