As a black woman, I do not, REPEAT, DO NOT, have a standard violent response to foolishness. If chick is crazy enough to show up at my door, I'm just crazy enough to call 911, dude and the dogs (in that order) to tell them to come get the person who is trespassing on my property. Whoever gets there first can have her.

As for dude? He gets to figure out where he's living, because it's not with me. If she is what he wanted, then he must not have wanted me. It's just that simple and I'm cool with that.

Hurt? Of course, but no, I AM NOT FIGHTING “FOR” A MAN. For it seems pretty obvious that he wasn't willing to “FIGHT FOR” me.

Fuck 'im. (or, in this case, NOT!)

First the sidepiece called to inform me of what my husband was doing with his spare time. To which I replied, “If you want a steady diet of my sloppy seconds be my guest. But what you really need to remember is this, 'Having is not so pleasing a thing as wanting.'” Yes, I actually managed to be calm and eloquent. LOL

I informed my husband of the conversation, gave him a very large verbal beatdown and asked if he wanted to seek counseling since we had a child. He did not. I took a little time to weigh my options.

A few days later she showed up at our home. I told him HE had TEN minutes to get her into her car and on her way or I was going to kick HIS ASS!

He accomplished his task,I then informed my husband that I was leaving his trifling ass and that I would not be coming back. He then informed me that that was a good idea because I needed to get MYSELF together (can you believe THAT SHIT) and time apart would allow the space to do so. I guess he did not hear the “I will not be coming back” part. I packed my belongings, placed them in the garage, went to work to inform my boss of the situation, promptly took a week of vacation, picked up my child from daycare and drove directly to my hometown, found a job and a townhouse in two days, drove back, quit my job, rented a U-Haul, got my belongings, returned to my hometown, filed for divorce and NEVER looked back.

My former husband was right about my needing time to get myself together, I did and I took my new show on the road.

Now some would say (and did) that I gave her exactly what she wanted. But I would say what she wanted was not much.

However, if the sidepiece had approached my son in ANY way I would have bitch slapped her so hard, her entire family would have died. But barring that there is no way I would have engaged her in any physical confrontation over some sorry ass man.

My brothas do not get me wrong, I in no ways think that all men are trifling, nor am I bitter. This is simply what went down at a particular time in my life, nothing more, nothing less.

As a black woman, I do not, REPEAT, DO NOT, have a standard violent response to foolishness. If chick is crazy enough to show up at my door, I'm just crazy enough to call 911, dude and the dogs (in that order) to tell them to come get the person who is trespassing on my property. Whoever gets there first can have her.

As for dude? He gets to figure out where he's living, because it's not with me. If she is what he wanted, then he must not have wanted me. It's just that simple and I'm cool with that.

Hurt? Of course, but no, I AM NOT FIGHTING “FOR” A MAN. For it seems pretty obvious that he wasn't willing to “FIGHT FOR” me.

Fuck 'im. (or, in this case, NOT!)

First the sidepiece called to inform me of what my husband was doing with his spare time. To which I replied, “If you want a steady diet of my sloppy seconds be my guest. But what you really need to remember is this, 'Having is not so pleasing a thing as wanting.'” Yes, I actually managed to be calm and eloquent. LOL

I informed my husband of the conversation, gave him a very large verbal beatdown and asked if he wanted to seek counseling since we had a child. He did not. I took a little time to weigh my options.

A few days later she showed up at our home. I told him HE had TEN minutes to get her into her car and on her way or I was going to kick HIS ASS!

He accomplished his task,I then informed my husband that I was leaving his trifling ass and that I would not be coming back. He then informed me that that was a good idea because I needed to get MYSELF together (can you believe THAT SHIT) and time apart would allow the space to do so. I guess he did not hear the “I will not be coming back” part. I packed my belongings, placed them in the garage, went to work to inform my boss of the situation, promptly took a week of vacation, picked up my child from daycare and drove directly to my hometown, found a job and a townhouse in two days, drove back, quit my job, rented a U-Haul, got my belongings, returned to my hometown, filed for divorce and NEVER looked back.

My former husband was right about my needing time to get myself together, I did and I took my new show on the road.

Now some would say (and did) that I gave her exactly what she wanted. But I would say what she wanted was not much.

Now if the sidepiece had approached my son in ANY way I would have bitch slapped her so hard, her entire family would have died. But barring that there is no way I would have engaged her in any physical confrontation over some sorry ass man.

Now my brothas do not get me wrong, I in no ways think that all men are trifling, nor am I bitter. This is simply what went down at a particular time in my life, nothing more, nothing less.

people always warn of the dangers of island d***. i think a PSA should be made about the dangers of young coota.

just saying.

1). call hubby and tell him to hurry over and get his shit before i burn it all up like angela bassett did in “waiting to exhale”.

2). get my children to a safe place.

3). call 911 and report an assault/and or attempted murder

4). commence to whupping aforementioned jumpoff's ass.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/10/23/steve-…

What kind of self respect do women have to give up to keep a man? I'm not willing to give up not one drop–especially when it comes to dueling with another woman. She wants him, and he's hit that— they can have each other. I know a barracuda lawyer.

Not because of sleeping with my husband – I'd get HIM for that, but because

1. she pretended to be a TEEN ONLINE while PIMPING MY CHILD FOR INFORMATION ABOUT MY FAMILY.
2. she came to my house.

for those two reasons, it would be beatdown time.

this obviously isn't the first time for this whore, because I heard her resume – she worked at places that no 22 year old should have on their resume.

But I just have to put my two cents in here: Thank you Mothsmoke!!!!! We are :here:

I never got this thing of women of color are supposed to be physically “fighting for our men”. Why? Don't we fight enough d**n battles as it is? Shouldn't our mate, seeing our struggles just to plain ole live provide a buffer around us when they can? Otherwise, why the heck are we in a relationship if they just bring unhealthy things in our lives? And why do we always go after the other woman/man??? What do they owe us? Did they say vows stating that they would be faithful? Um, no! The mate did! Even if it's a family member or friend, I would just cut them out of every inch of my life. If you want to release some anger, take out on the bastard who cheated on you. They are the ones who actually owe you something.

What is a fight going to accomplish? Did we turn into mountain goats and dogs and now we gotta mark our territory and lock horns to show our dominance? Really? We're better than that. Yes human beings are animals, but that is just our base level. I believe that we also have souls and minds, let's use them and elevate beyond out animal instinct.

I understand that sometimes we must defend ourselves, when the (((crazy))) comes out. But that's looking out for *my* well-being, not “fighting for my man”. And I understand that sometimes it could just be someone trying to play games and my man is not interested, so yeah, I will step in and tell a ho to back off with the quickness. But if he wants to cheat, then I need to be analyzing why I am in a relationship with someone who cannot handle the tenderness of the human heart and has no concern for the emotions of someone he supposedly loves.

BTW, I know so many women that stick around after a man cheats, multiple times. Don't know many guys that do that (a couple, but not as much as women). I've always found that interesting.