I guess others have lived more blameless lives than you or I. But the truth of the matter is, for me, you're right. Though the onus is on the cheater for acting upon that desire, there is also an onus on the cheatee who figures out something is not right but does nothing (or little) to correct the situation beyond putting the blinders on… or telling themselves 'at least they come home to me' after each separate incident.

Mechelle knew.

That's why I loved that white lady, Jenny Sanford. She's the ONLY public figure of a woman I'm aware of with the balls to attempt to follow through on the 'you get one more chance — and I'm not immediately appearing beside you in a public show of forgiveness as damage control if you eff up.'

I don't see the Sanford's divorcing, for all that; but again, Jenny Sanford has gone above and beyond what women usually feel it necessary to do when their man cheats. She didn't lie about having no idea. She didn't mark her territory by standing beside him for the millionth time in front of the press when news immediately broke. She didn't call out the women her husband slept with as liars, or homewreckers. I really hope she continues to handle her business without blinders.

possible — but not probable. i have to side with friskee1 on this one. she knew. besides, a woman who is not paying that much attention to her mate is at fault for her mate creeping in the first place.

people: pay attention to your loved ones. i have no sympathy for people (male or female) who intentionally close their eyes. the mate who sees and tries to rectify the situation, that's the person who has my sympathy.

Regarding the excercise of requiring an STD test after reconciliation but choosing not looking at the results . . . . Well. . .that is a decision you are both happy with so I will leave that alone. Interesting though. :-)

I am neither agreeing or disagreeing . . . just putting that one out there.
A person can love their spouse and family and have no desire to leave their marriage.

and no. . . this does not apply to me. lol but figured I would help balance the scales a bit to show the shades of grey.

I don't care what she says; following him around on the road like that says she doesn't trust HIM. The groupies are going to be there – she's neglecting her family following his ass on the road all year. I remember Sacramento traded his ass because of all the drama Jackie brings with her when she goes on the road. I think I read somewhere, Doug puts a travel clause for Jackie in his NBA contracts – but the line of teams are getting short for wanting to deal with an NBA player brining excess baggage with him before he even hits the court.

I'm just surprised he hasn't cheated yet.

That's why what I'm about to say is going to blow your theory out of the water.

Many years ago, I met a major league ballplayer who showed me mad attention whenever he came to town. Wined and dined – the whole nine yards. I was a very naive 25 year old who believed I found Prince Charming, and fell deeply in love.

Then, when things started getting serious, he asked me to go on the road with him. Cool, right?

But one of his teammates saw me; saw I wasn't a groupie, and got in homeboy's grill and told him “She's a nice girl – you better tell her your situation.”

To which my would-be lover told him to drink a glass of STHU.

Anyway, as circumstance would have it, some kids asked me to get my guy's autograph on a baseball card. As I turned over the card to read his stats, the stats that were included: “Wife and two kids.”

I can't tell you how I managed after I saw that. My hopes and dreams – crashed like NASCAR. My heart – Irreparably BROKEN.

I had to confront homebiscuits. I wasted no time, but I acted like a suddenly grown woman.

“Why didn't you tell me you were married?” I asked.

“I'll give you the history when I come back to town”, he said.

“Not waiting to hear it” I said. And walked off.

My mom gave me the “I knew he was married but you needed to find out for yourself” speech after I'd cried myself to sleep that night, and took the next day off work to compose myself. My mom also said:

“If you were going to Seattle with him, you needed to know that all you would ever be is one of his women on the road. So, if you went that route, get all you can out of his ass and can all you get out of his ass. But, I'm glad you found out before you gave yourself to him (I was a virgin) because if you gave yourself to him and found out after, the USA wouldn't be big enough for his Black Ass to hide in from your stepfather and me.”

I don't think his wife “let” him cheat. Then or ten years later when we ran into each other and he was still singing the same ol' bullshyt. And I still walked.

All parties have a CHOICE. Homegirl had a choice to screw McNair – if he misled her, she would have been better off blackmailing him instead of blowing his ass away

Long rant, but I see both sides of this equation = ALL PARTIES MAKE THE CHOICE.

My point is that to me withholding sex or not having sex with your SO does nothing to help your relationship.

If there is a medical reason for a low libido, you should care about your SO enough to find out why.

If you are withholding sex in order to exert some sort of control over the other person, your relationship is already in trouble.

Don't matter what a women does, that is like that lame..she had was dressed like a ho, had on a short skirt and minidress BBULL…you the one that ACTED on it!!

That's on YOU!!

Forgive me if this has been discussed (first day back from vacay), but shouldn't have 911 been the first number dialed?

I just feel so bad for the family. Not only do they have to live with the loss, but now they'll have to endure a lifetime of whispering and gossip behind their backs. McNair certainly didn't deserve to die but it shouldn't be overlooked that he has brought a measure of undeserved disgrace to his wife and children.

I have had some friend-girl's who thought it was OK to not have sex with their man. Like for long periods of time. And when they found out that their guy is steppin' out, they were lookin' all brand new.

Shouldn't those men have more self-control than that?

The wife of slain quarterback Steve McNair may have only learned about the gridiron star's affair with a gorgeous young woman after the clandestine couple's grisly deaths, sources close to the football player said Sunday.

“She's blindsided by this,” one source said of Mechelle McNair, who was holed up in her family's home just 6 miles from the condo her husband used to bed his mistress. “She's crushed. Her whole world is shattered.”

Nashville cops confirmed that Steve McNair, 36, was killed by four bullets fired at close range, two of which hit him in the head, and ruled his death a homicide.

His lover, Sahel Kazemi, 20, died of a single gunshot from the same semiautomatic found on the floor under her body, police also said.

They stopped short of calling the slayings a murder-suicide carried out by Kazemi, but said they are not looking for any suspects.

Cops ruled McNair's death a homicide and have not ruled on Kazemi's death, citing the need for more tests.

Kazemi and McNair, a dad of four boys, were dating for several months, friends told cops; McNair apparently kept the affair a secret from his wife.

Photos obtained by TMZ.com show a smiling McNair parasailing on a recent tropical vacation with the curvy Kazemi, whom he met as she waitressed at a Dave & Buster's sports bar.

“He started to talk to her a little,” Kazemi's aunt Sepideh Salmani told The Tennessean newspaper. “They exchanged phone numbers, and started dating from there.”

Salmani said her beautiful, raven-haired niece believed that McNair was in the process of getting a divorce.

Kazemi's sister told The Florida Times-Union of Jacksonville that Kazemi had expected to wed McNair.

“She said they were planning to get married,” Soheyla Kazemi told the paper.”

County records do not indicate that a divorce is pending, but the McNair family home is up for sale for $3 million.

Investigators said McNair had been drinking at a pair of Nashville bars – Blue Moon Lagoon Bar and Loser's Bar – into the early-morning hours of Saturday and then returned to the downtown condo he shared with a pal.

Although neighbors have not reported hearing gunshots, cops believe McNair and Kazemi died about 2 a.m., nearly 12 hours before their bodies were found.

There was no sign of forced entry at the condo, and investigators are checking whether the couple had been having a “lovers' quarrel,” cops said.

It was not immediately known whom the pistol belonged to, although McNair did have a permit to carry a gun, police said.

Kazemi, who was raised by an aunt in Florida after her parents were killed in Iran, moved to Nashville with her ex-boyfriend, Keith Norfleet.

Norfleet, whom investigators want to interview, had a “volatile” relationship with Kazemi but was trying to win her back from McNair, Norfleet's stepmother said.

“They had a lot of jealousy in their relationship and they'd fight and break up a lot,” said Trudie Norfleet. “He loved her. … He's awful torn up about it.”

The quarterback, renowned in Nashville for his extensive work in the community, rented the condo overlooking the Titans stadium with sporting goods dealer Wayne Neeley, who called McNair's best friend after seeing the bodies sprawled on a couch.

“It's a picture I'll never get out of my head,” a weeping Robert Gaddy told the Daily News. “It's the most terrible sight I've ever seen.”

“This was a great man, a man who'd do anything for you,” said Gaddy, who had been friends with the Heisman finalist since meeting him at Alcorn State University.

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/football/2009...>

They were talking about him on the TJMS and saying how great of a person he was, I'm thinking he wasn't THAT great considering how he died. I'll say he did some good things for the community, but I won't say “he was a great man.”

Of course, I'm not a football fan, so I'm probably a bit more objective than someone who was a fan of his for years.

And I'm glad somebody said it about McNair. While the man shouldn't have lost his life, if would have been where he was supposed to be (with his family!), I think the ending would have been different.

I have had some friend-girl's who thought it was OK to not have sex with their man. Like for long periods of time. And when they found out that their guy is steppin' out, they were lookin' all brand new.

I'm not saying be a sex slave, but lets keep it real. If somebody will voluntarily have sex with Lil Wayne, ya man can find somebody to keep him satisfied.

On the flip side, men need to give a little too. When your woman says she isn't in the mood, instead of steppin' out, think about when was the last time you told her she was beautiful. Bought her flowers for no reason. Took the kids for the afternoon so she had some time to shave her damn legs. Gave her a back rub and didn't expect anything in return.

Just my humble opionin.