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I guess others have lived more blameless lives than you or I. But the truth of the matter is, for me, you're right. Though the onus is on the cheater for acting upon that desire, there is also an onus on the cheatee who figures out something is not right but does nothing (or little) to correct the situation beyond putting the blinders on… or telling themselves 'at least they come home to me' after each separate incident.

Mechelle knew.

That's why I loved that white lady, Jenny Sanford. She's the ONLY public figure of a woman I'm aware of with the balls to attempt to follow through on the 'you get one more chance — and I'm not immediately appearing beside you in a public show of forgiveness as damage control if you eff up.'

I don't see the Sanford's divorcing, for all that; but again, Jenny Sanford has gone above and beyond what women usually feel it necessary to do when their man cheats. She didn't lie about having no idea. She didn't mark her territory by standing beside him for the millionth time in front of the press when news immediately broke. She didn't call out the women her husband slept with as liars, or homewreckers. I really hope she continues to handle her business without blinders.

possible — but not probable. i have to side with friskee1 on this one. she knew. besides, a woman who is not paying that much attention to her mate is at fault for her mate creeping in the first place.

people: pay attention to your loved ones. i have no sympathy for people (male or female) who intentionally close their eyes. the mate who sees and tries to rectify the situation, that's the person who has my sympathy.

I guess others have lived more blameless lives than you or I. But the truth of the matter is, for me, you're right. Though the onus is on the cheater for acting upon that desire, there is also an onus on the cheatee who figures out something is not right but does nothing (or little) to correct the situation beyond putting the blinders on… or telling themselves 'at least they come home to me' after each separate incident.

Mechelle knew.

That's why I loved that white lady, Jenny Sanford. She's the ONLY public figure of a woman I'm aware of with the balls to attempt to follow through on the 'you get one more chance — and I'm not immediately appearing beside you in a public show of forgiveness as damage control if you eff up.'

I don't see the Sanford's divorcing, for all that; but again, Jenny Sanford has gone above and beyond what women usually feel it necessary to do when their man cheats. She didn't lie about having no idea. She didn't mark her territory by standing beside him for the millionth time in front of the press when news immediately broke. She didn't call out the women her husband slept with as liars, or homewreckers. I really hope she continues to handle her business without blinders.

possible — but not probable. i have to side with friskee1 on this one. she knew. besides, a woman who is not paying that much attention to her mate is at fault for her mate creeping in the first place.

people: pay attention to your loved ones. i have no sympathy for people (male or female) who intentionally close their eyes. the mate who sees and tries to rectify the situation, that's the person who has my sympathy.

Regarding the excercise of requiring an STD test after reconciliation but choosing not looking at the results . . . . Well. . .that is a decision you are both happy with so I will leave that alone. Interesting though. :-)

I am neither agreeing or disagreeing . . . just putting that one out there.
A person can love their spouse and family and have no desire to leave their marriage.

and no. . . this does not apply to me. lol but figured I would help balance the scales a bit to show the shades of grey.

I don't care what she says; following him around on the road like that says she doesn't trust HIM. The groupies are going to be there – she's neglecting her family following his ass on the road all year. I remember Sacramento traded his ass because of all the drama Jackie brings with her when she goes on the road. I think I read somewhere, Doug puts a travel clause for Jackie in his NBA contracts – but the line of teams are getting short for wanting to deal with an NBA player brining excess baggage with him before he even hits the court.

I'm just surprised he hasn't cheated yet.

That's why what I'm about to say is going to blow your theory out of the water.

Many years ago, I met a major league ballplayer who showed me mad attention whenever he came to town. Wined and dined – the whole nine yards. I was a very naive 25 year old who believed I found Prince Charming, and fell deeply in love.

Then, when things started getting serious, he asked me to go on the road with him. Cool, right?

But one of his teammates saw me; saw I wasn't a groupie, and got in homeboy's grill and told him “She's a nice girl – you better tell her your situation.”

To which my would-be lover told him to drink a glass of STHU.

Anyway, as circumstance would have it, some kids asked me to get my guy's autograph on a baseball card. As I turned over the card to read his stats, the stats that were included: “Wife and two kids.”

I can't tell you how I managed after I saw that. My hopes and dreams – crashed like NASCAR. My heart – Irreparably BROKEN.

I had to confront homebiscuits. I wasted no time, but I acted like a suddenly grown woman.

“Why didn't you tell me you were married?” I asked.

“I'll give you the history when I come back to town”, he said.

“Not waiting to hear it” I said. And walked off.

My mom gave me the “I knew he was married but you needed to find out for yourself” speech after I'd cried myself to sleep that night, and took the next day off work to compose myself. My mom also said:

“If you were going to Seattle with him, you needed to know that all you would ever be is one of his women on the road. So, if you went that route, get all you can out of his ass and can all you get out of his ass. But, I'm glad you found out before you gave yourself to him (I was a virgin) because if you gave yourself to him and found out after, the USA wouldn't be big enough for his Black Ass to hide in from your stepfather and me.”

I don't think his wife “let” him cheat. Then or ten years later when we ran into each other and he was still singing the same ol' bullshyt. And I still walked.

All parties have a CHOICE. Homegirl had a choice to screw McNair – if he misled her, she would have been better off blackmailing him instead of blowing his ass away

Long rant, but I see both sides of this equation = ALL PARTIES MAKE THE CHOICE.

My point is that to me withholding sex or not having sex with your SO does nothing to help your relationship.

If there is a medical reason for a low libido, you should care about your SO enough to find out why.

If you are withholding sex in order to exert some sort of control over the other person, your relationship is already in trouble.

Don't matter what a women does, that is like that lame..she had was dressed like a ho, had on a short skirt and minidress BBULL…you the one that ACTED on it!!

That's on YOU!!

Forgive me if this has been discussed (first day back from vacay), but shouldn't have 911 been the first number dialed?

I just feel so bad for the family. Not only do they have to live with the loss, but now they'll have to endure a lifetime of whispering and gossip behind their backs. McNair certainly didn't deserve to die but it shouldn't be overlooked that he has brought a measure of undeserved disgrace to his wife and children.