Jack & Jill Politics

I have been an avid reader of this blog for a while and enjoy it greatly. This is my first time commenting, but I hoped it would be under much dfferent circumstances…

…While I am prayful for Rihanna to recover from her injuries, I can't help but be disturbed by Jill's wish for Chris Brown's “rapid prosecution,” which would undermine the very ideals of justice that we as African Americans hold dearly, fight for and die for. While I do not purport to understand the situation surrounding the couple, I am confident that the situation may be more complex that we are allowing ourselves to believe. It is a classic case of “he said/she said” and we have yet to hear what “he said.” I ask all of you to refrain from judgment until the facts of the case are all out there for mass consumption.

I agree with you Daisy. I feel that it is awful what happened to Rihanna. I don't feel he needs to be prosecuted but rather he needs therapy and perhaps that is what a legal resolution will be.

I tell you I just cringed and my heart went out to Chris when I read how much he hated and feared his stepdad, to the point that he felt he would pee on himself. That is profound emotional trauma, it seared and scarred him emotionally in ways he himself does not understand. He was witness to his mother being harmed and he was powerless to do anything yet the behavior was being modelled by a man and that is what he himself does now because it is what he KNOWS. It is so awful how emotional abuse distorts and twists a human being and they do not even know themselves. I believe Cris Brown is in tremendous pain.

He may be having a dificult time just looking at himself in the mirror because he has to juxtapose all the fear and hate hitting Rihanna conjured up with the fact that he assaulted her and lack the discipline not too.

However, both of these folks are teens. Teens have some of the most intense emotions which are very difficult to handle due to their lack of maturity and if they do not have the right folks in their lives, who are emotionally stable themselves, then they lack a support system that can help and guide them in how to manage those emotions.

Rihanna, has issues to. Cris was wrong to hit her and nothing can justify that. However, Rihanna needs the same therapy as Cris, as her actions were like a match to a flame, even so he should not have physically harmed her. That was simply unacceptable.

I pray that both of these young people get the help they need cause it is clear they are passionately in love but unable to enjoy the beauty and joy of that because they can't handle their emotions in a loving way.

They need our prayers.

I agree with Jill's comment about Chris Brown's rapid prosecution and it greatly disturbs me that the comments, thus far, have been more about Brown's well being than the victim, Rihanna. What he did to her wasn't a love tap. He damn near choked her to death! SHE has experienced excessive bruises and other injuries, and people are worried about HIS spirit?

It's not that anyone is actively ignoring Rihanna, it's just that people are realizing that there are two sides to this story. What about his injuries? Does anyone know (or care) what she may have done to him? This is not a one-sided deal. Emotional issues for both of them aside, he could have shown restraint while she went off on him, but it's riduculous to let her off the hook simply due to her being a female.

There are three sides to every story, her side, his side and the truth. Unfortunately we will probably never know the full truth of what happened. That being said I do not excuse Chris Brown for his actions but given his age I do not think he is monster or beyond repair. Good, intensive therapy could help this young man come to terms with some very emotional and devastating issues. I feel for both of these young people and I am praying for both of them.

When I first heard they were moving in together I was not happy for the young couple. I thought they were both too young to take on the emotional responsibilities of a monogamous in-live relationship and it was a recipe for disaster…guess I was right unfortunately.

Young people tend to think drama = love, however a lot of drama usually leads to physical or emotional abuse.

I don't think he needs rapid prosecution, nor do I think he should just get a slap on the wrist. I don't think he belongs in jail but a few months of house arrest and probation if convicted along with an order to obtain intensive therapy is the way to go. Throwing him in jail for any amount of time without giving him therapy is not going to help him. I just hope his handlers look out for what's best for him in the long run not what is best for their pocketbooks.

Hope this is a wake up call for Chris, I hope he realizes he needs help because that kind of rage is dangerous and deadly.

Yes, you are actively ignoring her, particularly the part about her being choked to unconsciousness, having severe bruises on her face and bite marks. You're ignoring that she was in such bad shape, the cops that arrived on the scene decided not to wait for the ambulance, instead driving her to the hospital themselves.

Chris Brown doesn't have any injuries. And the only thing she did to him was throw his cars keys into the bushes.

Someone once said that we raise our daughters, but we coddle our sons, and some of the comments from woman concerning this case are indicative of that.

AFTERNOON THREAD IS UP

I am not asking what Rihanna did wrong. I want to know what she did to fuel his rage.
That is a reasonable question. Asking what her actions were is not the same as condoning Chris' action, which you seem to be conflating as equivalent.

It isn't.

Any one with an ounce of humanity will have sympathy for the abused. Whether it is physical or emotional abuse, abuse warrants sympathy. Most individuals realize that emotional abuse is far more damaging and traumatic than physical abuse and that is what folks are saying. I have no negativity towards Rihanna, but I also know that typically there is an act of provocation which proceeds physical attacks.

I feel no need to defend Chris and have repeatedly assert his actions are wrong. However, I have acknowledged that he is a victim of emotional abuse himself. Rihanna has stated her dad was a substance abuser. So, what we have are TWO emotionally abused individuals in a state of passion too ill-equipped emotionally and lacking the maturity to deal with their own emotions. Both of them are dysfunctional and as is often the case they enable each other's dysfunctional emotionals.

None of this makes physical assault right. What we also know is that a balanced assessment demands all sides are looked at.

However, you seem to be asserting that the only one abused here, because it was physical was Rihanna. I disagree with that, not to justify physical abuse, but rather to recognize there was emotional abuse involved that served as a trigger for the ensuing actions.

In short, they are both abused. There is no one abuser here.

I wonder how bad some of you would feel for Chris's “wounded soul” if he had beat and choked your ass? His step-father sounds like a terrible man, but now Chris is just like him. I'll bet his step-father was abused too. Most child molesters where also raped as children. Should we just give them counseling? Would swift procecution be too harsh? Once you become the monster, I don't want to hear you crying about the monster that hurt you. Once those who have been abused, chose to abuse others they are no better. Not one bit. Chris could be helped, but how could he possibly change if he feels justified in his actions? And how could he not feel justified in his actions since so many people seem to be willing to make up justifications for him? What gets excused, gets ignored. I don't care how you word it, that's what many of you are doing. If the resports are true, he could have killed her. Would you feel sorry for him if beat you daughter's ass? I doubt it very much. You wouldn't give a damn what kind of childhood he had either. Men beat women for one reason only and that's to regain control over a woman, which our misogynistic society teaches men that they should have. Abusive men don't lose control, the abuse is what they use to get control back. Men and women do each other harm in relationships, but hurting someone's feelings or wounding their ego isn't illegal. Imagine how much more messed up and violent this world would be if we all hit or attacked any one who offended our pride or hurt our feelings? Assault and battery is a crime, so no matter what proceeded Chris opted to catch a case. As far as I'm concerned if Rihanna had been armed he opted to catch a bullet too. I'm sorry, but I can't feel sorry for his ass at all. And abuse victims who abuse others are the worst because they know what it feels like. He may be redeemable, but true redemption requires penance and punishment. But on the other hand, I won't feel sorry for Rihanna if she drops charges and stays with him either. Going back for more beat downs would make her crazier then him.

“She fueled his rage by breathing.”

Thank you so much. When are people going to get that the rage is already there? Abusers aren't like normal people, they are like the fool in the club who shoots someone for stepping on their new shoes. They are not rational people who just lose their tempers. They are time bombs that can go off at any minute. Chris beat Rihanna because he wanted to and it's who he is. That's how he wanted to deal with the situation period. Anything and everything can make them angry or “fuel” their rage. Do people think abusers make a list of things not to do if you don't want to get your ass beat and then the the list is ignored so a beat down becomes necessary? Please. He's batshit crazy.

“She fueled his rage by breathing.”

Thank you so much. When are people going to get that the rage is already there? Abusers aren't like normal people, they are like the fool in the club who shoots someone for stepping on their new shoes. They are not rational people who just lose their tempers. They are time bombs that can go off at any minute. Chris beat Rihanna because he wanted to and it's who he is. That's how he wanted to deal with the situation period. Anything and everything can make them angry or “fuel” their rage. Do people think abusers make a list of things not to do if you don't want to get your ass beat and then the the list is ignored so a beat down becomes necessary? Please. He's batshit crazy.

“She fueled his rage by breathing.”

Thank you so much. When are people going to get that the rage is already there? Abusers aren't like normal people, they are like the fool in the club who shoots someone for stepping on their new shoes. They are not rational people who just lose their tempers. They are time bombs that can go off at any minute. Chris beat Rihanna because he wanted to and it's who he is. That's how he wanted to deal with the situation period. Anything and everything can make them angry or “fuel” their rage. Do people think abusers make a list of things not to do if you don't want to get your ass beat and then the the list is ignored so a beat down becomes necessary? Please. He's batshit crazy.