I am with PTCruiser, Ms.Martin and Truthseeker on this one,

I am also every conservative but all I have seen is strong good black men as fathers throughout my whole life.

When one makes a speech like this, he is making generalizations. White people will look at it and go yea, black man are incapable of being fathers (as a white professor once felt necessary to admit to a class). Obama is only capable because of his white upbringing. He will be the one to set blacks straight (as a white man in the Philly office at Obama’s campaign headquarters felt the need to announce).

I was always raised with respectablity. We are aware of the issues that go on in the black community but we dwell on the positive especially in the public light. Yes Obama was in a black church but he was speaking to the country not just blacks. I was always taught that you never put down your own in the presence of whites. Obama said nothing that I havent heard community leaders, black leaders, ministers, films, books and everyday black people say. The message coming from Obama is not different than that coming from anyone else.

However my question is:

“Why do we only dwell on the negative constantly?”

This creates a picture that everything is black and everyone black is negative.Please remember that we as blacks know how nuanced and diverse we are as a people but others do not.We allow ourselves to be judged and reduced to a statistic in the public eye. We allow ourselves to be looked upon as a one-dimensional monolith. For all the black youth who have gone atray, there are more who have done the right thing and amazing things who never see the light of day. Who never get congratulated. People only talk and write books about black youth in peril, black youth as no good, black youth who have nothing to contribute to society. People tell me but oh…Rhonda people need to hear that negative message because it real. So I assume that these people believe that black youth who do bad are more really and worthy of attention than those who do good? When people only see that represnetation of those who do bad and are blinded to all those who do good because of our society;s negative thought pattern when black and youth come into the same picture, they label all of us. I am only 21 when, i work with black youth and I have seen the positive. I even work with those who do negative but can be positive if people believed in them.

Noentheless, everytime we brought a speaker or anytime a adult would speak to the children, it was only about the negative rather than congratulating the group for all of their wonderful achievements.
What a downer!!

I had a breakfast with the men of my family who are all amazing fathers. All of my friends had wonderful fathers days with their fathers and/or with their own children.

I held a cookout on Saturday in the backyard of my brooklyn brownstone apartment. It was for the people in the neighborhood and I had a large turnout with black men and their children, wives and girlfriends. There were some who simply came with their children because they may not have the nuclear family structure in some cases but they are their for their children.We had a wonderful time until it rained.

The local restaurant was packed with black men and their families taking their children out to eat. All the Caribbean and Soulf food restaurants were packed. My friend said that you could stick a pin at Sammy’s Fish Box in City Island (NY). They have a large black clientele because of the large portions and you know how our sisters and brother like to eat!

Yesterday evening, I got a phone call from my cousin who dropped the ball on his son. After attending my cookout on Saturday because he had to help me with the grill, he felt ashamed. He watched all the amazing brothers who were equally amazing fathers. He decided to re-enter his son’s life on Father’s Day. He vowed that he would not make that mistake again and I will make sure to keep him in check.

As a community, we have to keep those who go astray in check but by example. I have learned that scolding doesn’t work. What made my cousin, Craig realize his fault was watching all those men with their sons and daughters and families. He kept like a damn fool and went straight!

You see I would like the father’s who do right like my father, grandfathers, uncles, cousins (which now includes Craig), friends, neighbors and all those brothers at my cookout, at all the restaurants and in Sammy’s Fish Box like so many others to get congratulated! I want the world to see them and talk about them. I would like the Washington Post and the Chicago Tribune and the Hiffington Post on Father’s Day to announce that they are congratulating these men not one that says “Obama Rebukes Absent Black Fathers”.

Black people are never congratualted for the good. Only reprimanded for the bad. You see that cannot work. And in a country where whites have a low opinion of black regardless (they have felt that way since they brought us here on slave ships), they continue to justify it based on the negativity that is constantly given attention. Many are blinded to the good and when they see our black faces they probably assume that we are no good without knowing who we are. This creates problems on all levels regardless of those who claim they could care less about what white people think. You say that because you don’t know how it affects you.

Too many people don’t see the beauty, the good, the happiness, the achievement that goes on in the black community. I would like it if we began to showcase that because then and only then will those who don’t get it see that there is a better way to live. Those who don’t get it wont change because Obama made a speech in a church somewhere.

A good father’s day message is the one delivered by my grandfather at my Brooklyn cookout. One of the triumph of black fatherhood.

If you don’t understand why I was bothered by Obama’s speech then no amount of words we exchange here, regardless of our good intentions, will bridge the gap between us. We’ll have to play it as it lays.

I also think we (humans) can be influenced by our personal issues or experiences, and respond to life from those, even if we don’t do it deliberately or consciously. I also think we all have parts of ourselves that we don’t see. This means politicians too. People can be complicated, but are very fascinating.

I think O is very complicated. We live in a tribal, clannish world, and he has somewhat been a person without a tribe. I am his same age. I know biracial people whose white relatives wouldn’t have anything to do with them. Even though his grandparents loved him (eventually), they still communicated to him how they felt about Blacks in general (everyone but him). And just because they were willing to love & support him doesn’t mean that their family members were. They may have had to sacrifice some of their relationships to do what they did for him. They may have made disparagements about his dad. I know my grandmother reduced me to tears many times by criticizing my parents when I was a kid. His wife & children give him a tribe without the conflicts he’s had to endure, but he is probably still learning not to be a loner. He might always be one.

I also want to see Black people excel individually & collectively. I tell my students that they must pursue education; that no one can “give” them one. Either they will get one or they won’t.I tell them that without self-discipline they won’t succeed at anything in life. Does that sound like Cosby or Obama, because I’m in their same camp.

Then he needs to use his government medical plan and spend a few 50 minute hours with people who are trained to assist people to figure this stuff out. Or, he could give a speech about his own parents. But, in any case, please don’t try to tell me that I should be alright with what he did because he needs to get something off of his chest.

The speech was a political speech and it had a political intent. We may disagree about the intent but let’s try to avoid giving him a pass because he has suffered. He is running for president of the United States. If he is running for the president of Black America, then we need to have a discussion about what that means. I do not need him to tell me what it means for me to be black nor what I should do to take care of my children.

teacher,

someone up above brought in his mother, and I forgot to add that that is one of the headlines in one of the tabloids at the supermarket this week – I read it while standing in line today.

And, the twists were on Malia.

Sasha O. was rocking the kinky twists in church today! You know she is going to be a mainstream trend setter.

I am offended that he would do this.

I had a father and a husband/father to my children and this offends me.

Don’t worry…less than 5 mins

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CURvgDRDg3M&feature=related

On Huffington, this is the headline on the main page:
Obama Rebukes Absent Black Fathers

Check out the comments if you’re inclined. Most people think it was great. This one comment I’ve pasted below was moving. Really, would it be so hard just to say Happy Father’s day to my black brothers without the rebuke?

PAposter See Profile I’m a Fan of PAposter

Peace be with you.

Rick Sanchez is filling space, but Obama opened that door.

Some parts just sounded so trite. He ad-libs: Any fool can make a child, but it takes a man to be a father..or something like that. It’s like going to someone’s birthday party and berating them about how old they’re getting.

I’m done ranting.

Rick Sanchez is a clown. A straight up clown.

Like I said, it’s Hampton, VA all over again.

Rick is asking if he’s saying to angry white guys that he’s calling out black guys for not looking after their kids and if that might win points with white guys be get criticism from blacks…paraphrasing.